Too Comfortable

Most people are deeply reluctant to move their attentions to the “within” and find out what is occurring in the hidden recesses of their unconscious. They don’t want to “know” what is happening inside because they are afraid they won’t be able to “deal” with it.

They know that something within has gone astray, but they never connect the dots. They just muddle through life gratifying themselves through the endless pursuit of what they call “happiness.” This never works, but they keep trying to make it suffice because the fear of going “within” and seeking something greater than gratification seems so distant and difficult. Nonetheless, there comes a moment when they are faced with what they are doing to themselves through endless gratifications, and how it has set into motion a fear that has gone completely unchecked, rendering them unconscious.

Both Buddha and Jesus talked about living in the world, but not allowing the world to live in us. Sage advice. For each of us living takes on a different tone and rhythm, but there are signs that reveal the way we are living­ and only we, as individuals, can know what that means to each of us. These signs appear to help us recognize what we are doing to our psyche.

This applies even if we define “ease and comfort” as being abusive toward ourselves as a form of gratifying punishment. This is why religion is so popular. People get to feel bad about themselves, as sinners, in order to feel “right” about their life and world. Round and round it all goes like a dog chasing its tail. We keep searching for a pony in the midst of the manure we have created for ourselves.

Our fear is based in our disdain for impermanence. We want everything to remain the same and predictable, with no changes unless they cater to our gratifications. Most people never question any of this and, in truth, many people, after reading this, would say: “so what?” This “so what” reveals itself throughout our day-to-day and lifetime-to-lifetime state of Karma.

A brash young man watched a sage drawing water from the village well. Slowly, hand over hand, the old man pulled up the wooden bucket of water. After some time the young man left and returned with a pulley, and excitedly explained how to use it, and how easy it would be to draw water by cranking the handle.

The old man refused: “Were I to use a device like this, my mind would congratulate itself on being so clever, and then I would quit putting my heart into what I was doing. If I don’t put my whole heart and body into my work, my work will become joyless. And how, then, do you think the water would taste?”

To many people, it would seem foolish not to take the young man up on his offer to reduce the struggle it takes in order to draw water from the well. But this sage was a Master because he was aware of the state of his human mind; he understood that his mind and body would be gratified by the clever use of the ingenious device.

But the wise sage was not going to be fooled by his emotional need for gratification. By putting his whole heart and body into the work of getting the water, he was using the well and the water as a device for his own spiritual awakening. His “joy” was in the effort – not the accomplishment of gratification. He understood his elements and did not try to alter them for the sake of emotional ease. Rather, he used his inner disposition to live in a totality that would reveal the state of consciousness rather than the gratification of ease and emotional comfort.

Most of us are unskilled at determining our feelings. From an early age we have been taught to escape any uncomfortable feelings through any means necessary – alcohol, drugs, food, etc. Almost two-thirds of people who live in an industrial nation rely on alcohol to “calm their emotions” in the evenings. Many others turn to emotional eating, using food as a means to avoid their emotional-based responses.

And then there is retail therapy, a common coping mechanism used to counteract stressful experiences that challenge our self-image. According to the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University: “Consumers tend to increase their overall consumption in order to distract themselves and forget all about it.”

So, what does all of this say about us? That we are only looking for a way to appease ourselves and deliberately avoid dealing with emotions that weaken our ability to mature and truly live a more conscious life. To have the discipline to deal with our pain, sorrows, fears and worries is the very essence of learning how to live. But with so many gratifying alternatives available, most people prefer to whitewash the situation through a myriad of excuses and rationales rather than face the truth.

What is it that needs so much insulation from the truth that we will harm the body and destroy an entire lifetime to avoid it? Why is it that we are so deeply sensitive to avoiding the pain that would liberate us to know Love?

The answer is: FEAR. Fear of what, you ask? Fear does NOT need a “WHAT” in order to sustain it. We are born in FEAR due to past life experiences that we do not recognize. We fear for our survival, We fear living without fear. We just fear. It is FEAR that makes us live as we do because we refuse to acknowledge our emotional state in the body.

Our FEAR is born out of not realizing what our emotions actually are and what they are doing to us.It’s that simple. It is not rocket science. But for most people it might as well be. Seeking comfort over Love is a very common thing to do in this world. Sad to say, it is the way most people measure success in this lifetime.

Learning how to “fast” from our emotions and their gratifications is the essence of deep inner work in the beginning. To simply “sit” with all the noise in the mind and body without being attentive to it. This is the very core of the Practice. You can do it. All it takes is the willingness to be uncomfortable for a while. Trust me, you will live!

May this closing story be of service to you:

A story is told about a Zen master, a painter, who was designing a new temple, a pagoda. And it was his habit to have his chief disciple by his side.

He used to draw the design, look at the disciple and ask: “What do you think?” And the disciple would say: “Not worthy of you.” So he would discard it. This happened ninety-nine times. Three months passed and the king kept asking when the design would be completed so the building could start.

And then one day it happened that while the master was drawing the design, the ink ran dry. So he told the disciple to go out and prepare more ink. The disciple went out and when he returned, he looked and said: What? You have done it! But why couldn’t you do it for these three months?

The master said: “It is because of you. You were sitting by my side and I was divided. You were looking at me and I was target-oriented, it was not fun. When you were not there, I relaxed. I felt that nobody was looking and I became whole. This design I have not done, it has come by itself. For three months it would not come because I was the doer.”